The night neither of you asked
You know the night. The kids are finally asleep, or the dishes are done, or you're both just sitting on the same couch for once with nowhere else to be. You both would have said yes. Neither of you says anything. The moment passes, you go to sleep, and nothing happened, not because either of you didn't want it to, but because asking out loud costs something neither of you wanted to spend that night.
That's not really a wanting problem. It's a math problem. Every time you ask out loud and hear no, the next ask gets a little more expensive. Say no enough times, even for completely ordinary reasons like exhaustion or a bad day, and eventually one of you stops going first. Then the other one stops too, because nobody's asking anymore, so nobody has a chance to say yes. The wanting didn't go anywhere. The asking did.
What changes
YesTonight is a private, one-tap question between two people who are already together. Each night, you can tap yes if you want to. That's the whole ask. You're not texting them, not reading the room, not risking a tired "not tonight" landing on the one night you felt brave enough to try.
The rule: only a mutual yes produces anything. There's one exception we always name. If you've both already said yes and then one of you changes your mind before the night happens, the other person is told, if their app is open at that moment, that tonight is off and that their partner changed their mind. If your partner hadn't seen the match yet, there's nothing to walk back, so nothing is sent at all. Short of that one case, a yes that's waiting on your partner doesn't show up anywhere yet, and a no doesn't get sent to you either.
None of that controls what the two of you already read in each other's silence. If you live together and one of you doesn't tap yes some night, you probably know your own house well enough to guess why, the same way you would have before there was an app for this. YesTonight only controls what happens on a screen. What two people living together already pick up on each other is between them.
Starting it
There isn't a setup conversation to have first. Send your partner a pairing code.
That's it. That's the whole thing you have to say out loud, and it isn't even the real question.
Give it two weeks. If it's not for you, there's a delete button in Settings, and the privacy policy states that deleting your account removes your answers, notes, pairing codes, profile, and login right away.